Lessons Learnt while trying for a child- Part 1

One of the lessons I learnt when trying for a child is that:
“there are symptoms that i may be concerned about that are out of my control but the root causative factors of those symptoms are factors I have control over so instead of wasting resources on the symptoms- I will rather bulldoze the tree from its roots and i can be sure that the symptoms will shrink, fade off and will not repeat again”


This is the peak of my recommendation when I engage couples that are trying for children. I see trying couples run the risk of spending too much of their resources on symptoms of concern (the tip of the iceberg), worrying about the things they cannot change or control.
Time and energy spent on symptoms of concern is without identifying and addressing the root causes under your control is a futile race that may have you lose time/lose your change at pregnancy at the long run.


Let me explain, the fibroids/cysts are there or you just had a myomectomy- you can not change it by worrying or stressing about it- but you have control over identifying and clearing out the root cause of that growth so that you can be sure this surgery will be the last as the growth will not re-grow again.

If you do not clear out the obstacles on your pathway to carrying your baby now, let’s say today 24th August 2020, you still have about 50% chance, in 2 months time, the obstacles have regrown or grown bigger & your chances of conception is reduced by 30% .
Surgeries and IVFs are not magic bullets so if the obstacles (root causes) are not identified and cleared off the path in time, the likelihood of having them repeatedly is very high.
Contrary to what we may have been taught growing up, many things that contribute to optimum fertility are, to a large extent, within our area of control so while you can never control 100% the outcome of any fertility program, you always have complete control over your input into any particular situation.
Treating your responsibility of action in your fertility journey with a “what will be, will be” attitude coupled with lack of the right fertility education, is what may well be keeping you infertile.
There is much so within your control and you and your partner are in charge as a unit in this team sport to win this.
The choice is yours ultimately – whether you will make up your mind to exercise control over these root causes and deal with them once and for all, or whether you will continue going around in circles.
It is important to prioritize what really matters.
I often say “There is no such thing as there is no way or we do not stand a chance or I do not have the money etc” It is about priortiy. Is this thing important to me? Where is it on my scale of priroity?


The moment you make up CHANGE and seek to gain clarity on your current obstacles to optimum fertility, and most importantly how to effectively address them- then and only then do the desired outcome show up!

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